See Dr. Pete Marcelo's profile on psychology today.
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY
Thoughts: There’s More to Them Than You Think
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo, et al
Have you ever wondered why some people maintain a positive outlook in the face of negative events, whereas, others stumble over every pebble in life’s path? Recently, we read a newspaper article about a boy who had both his legs amputated after a car accident.Despite this tragedy, the boy maintains a positive attitude and even continues to play basketball and baseball through his local recreation department. He has not allowed bad fortune and a serious physical handicap to get in his way of the pursuit of happiness and emotional well-being. On the other hand, we know people who have gotten anxious or depressed over what appeared to be good fortune, such as a job promotion. What accounts for the different ways in which people react to and feel about life situations?
There are many components that may influence the way in which we emotionally react to and handle both good and bad life events such as: age, gender, race, culture, religion, and our genetic make-up. While we cannot change these characteristics, there is one factor that we can and often times would be best off examining and changing which influences the way in which we cope with positive and negative stressors. That is, our thoughtswhich significantly contribute to our emotional reactions. As Charles Darwin once said: "The highest possible stage in a moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts". With these words in mind, let’s give some thought to our thinking.
Is it the job promotion that leads to anxiety, depression, and other unhelpful negative emotions? If so, then everyone who got a promotion would feel anxious or depressed. Obviously, we know that this is not the case. If 100 people got a flat tire, would we expect them to all feel the same way about the flat? No, clearly we wouldn’t. In all likelihood, some people would get angry and curse and scream before changing the tire, while others would take it in stride and replace the tire without getting angry. Why is this so?
For hundreds of years, philosophers and other great thinkers have provided us with clues to the answer to this question. For example, Epictetus once said: "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them". And Milton postulated: "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven out of hell, and a hell of heaven".
Over the past several decades, cognitive behavioral psychologists have developed theories of psychology and emotional wellness that relate to the above lessons. To put it simply, many of the theories posit that it’s our thoughts that count, or that determine how we react to life events.
For example, if after getting a flat tire, one overacts and thinks and continues to say to himself: "This sucks"…This is terrible"…"Why does this always happen to me?"…"I can’t stand it"… anger will be the likely emotional response. And if he typically thinks in an awfulizing and negative way, then he will likely be more prone to psychosocial and physical difficulties like anger, depression, poor relationships, stroke and heart disease.On the other hand, someone who thinks to himself: "I’m lucky it’s not raining"…"I’m glad that I have a spare tire"…"I can handle this"…"This is a hassle, not a horror", will react in a more realistic manner. And if he usually thinks in a rational way, or in a way that is appropriate for the situation, then he is more likely to be psychologically and physically healthy.
In fact, research suggests that there is a direct relationship between one’s thoughts, and their emotions and the immune system’s response. For example, in a recent research study, married couples were asked to think about and discuss with each other a recent argument that they had between themselves. Before and during this discussion, researchers took blood samples from the participants. For perhaps the first time, researchers were able to show a direct relationship between one’s thinking and the immune system’s response. More specifically, although on the outside, participants appeared calm while discussing their recent arguments with their spouses, their blood samples revealed a decrease in certain hormones and blood cells which are necessary for optimal immune system functioning.
Similarly, in a long-term research project conducted a the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, data indicated that research participants who thought in negative and hostile ways had a significantly higher incidence of heart
disease and stroke. Clearly, the mind is an integral part of our body; and physical and emotional well-being cannot be easily separated.
Realistically, there are tragedies in life that are accompanied by negative emotions like disappointment, frustration, grief, and deep sorrow, etc. However, a person’s thoughts can account for the difference in whether someone feels sadness or clinically depressed after a negative life event, such as the diagnosis of a major medical condition.
For a long time, psychologists have known that people suffering from depression have more cognitive distortions and negative thoughts about themselves, the world, and the future. They also tend to feel more helpless, hopeless and worthless. On a positive note, research with depressed individuals suggests that treatment focusing on changing peoples’ thought process is a particularly effective treatment for depression.
We all think negatively or irrationally; however, we are empowered because we can change the way we think in order to feel better and cope in the best way possible. In order to pursue optimal psychological health, one way to start is to begin to monitor our thinking regularly. The next step is to examine or question our thoughts and ask ourselves things like: Are our thoughts rational or reasonable? Are they helpful in changing the situation or making us feel better? Are they in proportion to what has happened? Is there any evidence that our beliefs are true? So, the next time you are experiencing a dysfunctional emotion like anger or depression, try asking yourself what are you thinking or telling yourself to make yourself feel this way.
Did you know that we have thousands of thoughts each day? Some are rational and helpful, while others are irrational and unhelpful. Monitoring these thoughts and changing some of them when necessary will take some effort, especially in the beginning. However, like physical exercise, the benefits are clearly worth the effort in the long run; and it gets easier with practice.
So go ahead and practice, practice, practice!!! You can change how you feel and what you do by changing how you think!!!
Thoughts: There’s More to Them Than You Think
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo, et al
Have you ever wondered why some people maintain a positive outlook in the face of negative events, whereas, others stumble over every pebble in life’s path? Recently, we read a newspaper article about a boy who had both his legs amputated after a car accident.Despite this tragedy, the boy maintains a positive attitude and even continues to play basketball and baseball through his local recreation department. He has not allowed bad fortune and a serious physical handicap to get in his way of the pursuit of happiness and emotional well-being. On the other hand, we know people who have gotten anxious or depressed over what appeared to be good fortune, such as a job promotion. What accounts for the different ways in which people react to and feel about life situations?
There are many components that may influence the way in which we emotionally react to and handle both good and bad life events such as: age, gender, race, culture, religion, and our genetic make-up. While we cannot change these characteristics, there is one factor that we can and often times would be best off examining and changing which influences the way in which we cope with positive and negative stressors. That is, our thoughtswhich significantly contribute to our emotional reactions. As Charles Darwin once said: "The highest possible stage in a moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts". With these words in mind, let’s give some thought to our thinking.
Is it the job promotion that leads to anxiety, depression, and other unhelpful negative emotions? If so, then everyone who got a promotion would feel anxious or depressed. Obviously, we know that this is not the case. If 100 people got a flat tire, would we expect them to all feel the same way about the flat? No, clearly we wouldn’t. In all likelihood, some people would get angry and curse and scream before changing the tire, while others would take it in stride and replace the tire without getting angry. Why is this so?
For hundreds of years, philosophers and other great thinkers have provided us with clues to the answer to this question. For example, Epictetus once said: "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them". And Milton postulated: "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven out of hell, and a hell of heaven".
Over the past several decades, cognitive behavioral psychologists have developed theories of psychology and emotional wellness that relate to the above lessons. To put it simply, many of the theories posit that it’s our thoughts that count, or that determine how we react to life events.
For example, if after getting a flat tire, one overacts and thinks and continues to say to himself: "This sucks"…This is terrible"…"Why does this always happen to me?"…"I can’t stand it"… anger will be the likely emotional response. And if he typically thinks in an awfulizing and negative way, then he will likely be more prone to psychosocial and physical difficulties like anger, depression, poor relationships, stroke and heart disease.On the other hand, someone who thinks to himself: "I’m lucky it’s not raining"…"I’m glad that I have a spare tire"…"I can handle this"…"This is a hassle, not a horror", will react in a more realistic manner. And if he usually thinks in a rational way, or in a way that is appropriate for the situation, then he is more likely to be psychologically and physically healthy.
In fact, research suggests that there is a direct relationship between one’s thoughts, and their emotions and the immune system’s response. For example, in a recent research study, married couples were asked to think about and discuss with each other a recent argument that they had between themselves. Before and during this discussion, researchers took blood samples from the participants. For perhaps the first time, researchers were able to show a direct relationship between one’s thinking and the immune system’s response. More specifically, although on the outside, participants appeared calm while discussing their recent arguments with their spouses, their blood samples revealed a decrease in certain hormones and blood cells which are necessary for optimal immune system functioning.
Similarly, in a long-term research project conducted a the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, data indicated that research participants who thought in negative and hostile ways had a significantly higher incidence of heart
disease and stroke. Clearly, the mind is an integral part of our body; and physical and emotional well-being cannot be easily separated.
Realistically, there are tragedies in life that are accompanied by negative emotions like disappointment, frustration, grief, and deep sorrow, etc. However, a person’s thoughts can account for the difference in whether someone feels sadness or clinically depressed after a negative life event, such as the diagnosis of a major medical condition.
For a long time, psychologists have known that people suffering from depression have more cognitive distortions and negative thoughts about themselves, the world, and the future. They also tend to feel more helpless, hopeless and worthless. On a positive note, research with depressed individuals suggests that treatment focusing on changing peoples’ thought process is a particularly effective treatment for depression.
We all think negatively or irrationally; however, we are empowered because we can change the way we think in order to feel better and cope in the best way possible. In order to pursue optimal psychological health, one way to start is to begin to monitor our thinking regularly. The next step is to examine or question our thoughts and ask ourselves things like: Are our thoughts rational or reasonable? Are they helpful in changing the situation or making us feel better? Are they in proportion to what has happened? Is there any evidence that our beliefs are true? So, the next time you are experiencing a dysfunctional emotion like anger or depression, try asking yourself what are you thinking or telling yourself to make yourself feel this way.
Did you know that we have thousands of thoughts each day? Some are rational and helpful, while others are irrational and unhelpful. Monitoring these thoughts and changing some of them when necessary will take some effort, especially in the beginning. However, like physical exercise, the benefits are clearly worth the effort in the long run; and it gets easier with practice.
So go ahead and practice, practice, practice!!! You can change how you feel and what you do by changing how you think!!!
FACEBOOK OBSESSION
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo, et al
Facebook is the top social networking site in the world. Some people log into their facebook accounts everyday without failing. If someone is thinking about f.b. often throughout the day to the point where it is consuming their thoughts and/or checking the sight multiple times per day to the point that it is impacting their daily functioning, then these may be signs of obsessive compulsive behavior. While facebook may help people stay in touch with friends, re-connect with old friends, make new friends, and offer ways to interact with friends like on-line games such as mafia wars, some people may forget that they have an actual life to live. When you forget this fact, you may start neglecting yourself and the people around you. This may be a sign that you are suffering from a facebook obsession. Possible triggers to facebook obsessions include: social anxiety (shyness), social isolation or loneliness, social skills deficits, desire to staying connected to local gossip, voyeurism (wandering around facebook aimlessly to see what friends of friends are up to), avoiding/procrastinating responsibilities like chores and homework. Possible signs that facebook has become a problem for you include: spending more than one hour per day on facebook, grades are suffering or you are missing deadlines, staying up too late and having difficulty getting up for school, decreasing face to face interactions with friends and family, revealing intimate information to strangers, developing a goal to increase the number of friends with people you don’t really know, complaints from friends and family, and the idea of going a day without checking facebook causes stress and anxiety.
The first step in dealing with a facebook obsession is to recognize and admit that you have a problem that is affecting your life. Treatment recommendations include increasing incompatible and alternative behaviors to getting on facebook such as: committing to a maximum amount of time on facebook per day knowing that the least amount of time is better for you (i.e. 30 minutes per day), trying to give up facebook for other events and activities such as spending more time with friends and family, exercising, and participating in after school clubs and activities. If you are unable to make progress on your own, then you should seriously consider contacting a mental health expert like a psychologist or social worker.
Children as young as 8 to 10 years old get involved with social networking today due to inccreased accessibility of computers and hand held game systems with wi-fi accessibility. For these younger children, social networking may serve as a way to combat loneliness and isolation, to side step social anxiety (shyness), and to practice social skills in a less awkward and non-real time environment.
It is a vicious cycle. Adolescents who are depressed may find facebook an easier way to socialize given their lethargy, fatigue, low energy, and low motivation to have face to face interactions with peers. Real world isolation probably does not cause depression, but will more than likely make it worse. Research indicates that adolescents are happier, more socially adjusted, and perform better in school when they participate in extra-curricular activities and clubs, and engage in face to face contact with peers in comparison to those adolescents that spend excessive amounts of time on the computer “socializing” and playing games. What are you waiting for? Get back to the real word!
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo, et al
Facebook is the top social networking site in the world. Some people log into their facebook accounts everyday without failing. If someone is thinking about f.b. often throughout the day to the point where it is consuming their thoughts and/or checking the sight multiple times per day to the point that it is impacting their daily functioning, then these may be signs of obsessive compulsive behavior. While facebook may help people stay in touch with friends, re-connect with old friends, make new friends, and offer ways to interact with friends like on-line games such as mafia wars, some people may forget that they have an actual life to live. When you forget this fact, you may start neglecting yourself and the people around you. This may be a sign that you are suffering from a facebook obsession. Possible triggers to facebook obsessions include: social anxiety (shyness), social isolation or loneliness, social skills deficits, desire to staying connected to local gossip, voyeurism (wandering around facebook aimlessly to see what friends of friends are up to), avoiding/procrastinating responsibilities like chores and homework. Possible signs that facebook has become a problem for you include: spending more than one hour per day on facebook, grades are suffering or you are missing deadlines, staying up too late and having difficulty getting up for school, decreasing face to face interactions with friends and family, revealing intimate information to strangers, developing a goal to increase the number of friends with people you don’t really know, complaints from friends and family, and the idea of going a day without checking facebook causes stress and anxiety.
The first step in dealing with a facebook obsession is to recognize and admit that you have a problem that is affecting your life. Treatment recommendations include increasing incompatible and alternative behaviors to getting on facebook such as: committing to a maximum amount of time on facebook per day knowing that the least amount of time is better for you (i.e. 30 minutes per day), trying to give up facebook for other events and activities such as spending more time with friends and family, exercising, and participating in after school clubs and activities. If you are unable to make progress on your own, then you should seriously consider contacting a mental health expert like a psychologist or social worker.
Children as young as 8 to 10 years old get involved with social networking today due to inccreased accessibility of computers and hand held game systems with wi-fi accessibility. For these younger children, social networking may serve as a way to combat loneliness and isolation, to side step social anxiety (shyness), and to practice social skills in a less awkward and non-real time environment.
It is a vicious cycle. Adolescents who are depressed may find facebook an easier way to socialize given their lethargy, fatigue, low energy, and low motivation to have face to face interactions with peers. Real world isolation probably does not cause depression, but will more than likely make it worse. Research indicates that adolescents are happier, more socially adjusted, and perform better in school when they participate in extra-curricular activities and clubs, and engage in face to face contact with peers in comparison to those adolescents that spend excessive amounts of time on the computer “socializing” and playing games. What are you waiting for? Get back to the real word!
Hoarding: 'Not just an entertainment sensation (as seen in Northwest Herald, (Crystal Lake, IL) - February 18, 2010)
Author: AMBER KROSEL - akrosel@nwherald.com
Every room on every floor was overflowing with paper bags and boxes full of junk. Only a very narrow trail allowed visitors to move through the three-story Victorian home up for sale 10 years ago. It was the worst case of hoarding Dr. Pete Marcelo had seen, and it wasn't even in his professional role. He was looking to buy a home with his family, but the Realtor was unable to convince the homeowner to clean up. "The Realtor informed me that she had tried to get the owner to do so prior to listing the property, but the owner didn't see the situation as a problem," said Marcelo, a licensed clinical psychologist and social worker in Huntley."This is a concrete example of denial and rationalization."
Hoarding, a mental disorder characterized by the excessive collection of items and the inability to discard them, is more than just a phenomenon on TV. But because of its popularity on the hit A&E show, "Hoarders," some local therapists said they thought an important topic was being brought to light.
Considered a subtype of obsessive-compulsive personality disorders, Marcelo said hoarding can become a mental illness depending on the intensity, frequency and effect on a person's daily life.
Hoarding also can be a symptom of psychosis, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, senility and anorexia. "Typically, hoarders' personalities are rigid and perfectionistic," Marcelo said. "They may be socially isolated and often do not recognize that their behaviors and thoughts are unusual. They may even try to spin their maladaptive behavior into a positive situation like, ‘waste not, want not.'"
Mary Krueger, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical professional counselor in Cary, said hoarders tend to be people who are anxious and can't let go of certain mental or emotional attachments to objects.
"They hold on to everything, just in case," she said. About 25 percent of Krueger's clients are hoarders, but that number is mostly based on the high amount of anxiety cases she handles.
The general population of hoarders isn't exactly quantifiable, but the disorder is estimated to affect between 700,000 and 1.4 million Americans, according to the NeuroBehavioral Institute. "People who become like that tend to be ashamed of it," said Krueger. "They can't bring themselves to look at it as an issue." But, family members and friends take notice of hoarding tendencies in loved ones. Some people develop hoarding after a stressful life event, like divorce or a death in the family.People are more likely to hoard if they have close family members who engage in compulsive hoarding, and the disorder usually starts in early adolescence and tends to get worse with age, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Treatments can range from medications to good support systems, including therapy and an outlet for new hobbies. If untreated, hoarding can lead to unsanitary conditions and health risks, social isolation, or fire hazards. There is no known prevention for the disorder, and it's a lifelong battle.If somebody doesn't learn other ways to cope with their anxiety,it's something you can easily go back to," Krueger said.But, the hoarder has to want change."Often, they are pushed into treatment by a family member or friend. This may result in feelings of anger," Marcelo said. "[All] too often hoarding continues for years without treatment, and by the time someone seeks treatment, they may have so much work ahead of them withuncluttering and discarding that it seems daunting."
At 1-800-GOT-JUNK?, the junk removal service featured on the show "Hoarders," workers can find anything in a home, from broken furniture to rotting food – even multiple animals, alive or
dead. Chris Becker, the general manager of the Chicago North franchise that serves McHenry County, said he's only seen two hoarding cases, both in Chicago. In one, workers removed three 400-cubic-foot truckloads of waste. In the other, they removed six. "The feedback I get is, people see the show and they call us up to prevent that from happening to them," Becker said.
Where to turn If you or a loved one has symptoms of hoarding, talk with a doctor or mental health provider as soon as possible. For referrals, the McHenry County Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day at 800-892-8900.
Possible signs of hoarding
• Cluttered living spaces.
• Inability to discard items.
• Keeping stacks of newspapers, magazines, or junk mail.
• Moving items from one pile to another, without discarding anything.
• Acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless items, including trash.
• Difficulty managing daily activities, including procrastination and trouble making
decisions.
• Difficulty organizing items.
• Perfectionism.
• Excessive attachment to possessions, and discomfort letting others touch or
borrow possessions.
• Limited or no social interactions.
Author: AMBER KROSEL - akrosel@nwherald.com
Every room on every floor was overflowing with paper bags and boxes full of junk. Only a very narrow trail allowed visitors to move through the three-story Victorian home up for sale 10 years ago. It was the worst case of hoarding Dr. Pete Marcelo had seen, and it wasn't even in his professional role. He was looking to buy a home with his family, but the Realtor was unable to convince the homeowner to clean up. "The Realtor informed me that she had tried to get the owner to do so prior to listing the property, but the owner didn't see the situation as a problem," said Marcelo, a licensed clinical psychologist and social worker in Huntley."This is a concrete example of denial and rationalization."
Hoarding, a mental disorder characterized by the excessive collection of items and the inability to discard them, is more than just a phenomenon on TV. But because of its popularity on the hit A&E show, "Hoarders," some local therapists said they thought an important topic was being brought to light.
Considered a subtype of obsessive-compulsive personality disorders, Marcelo said hoarding can become a mental illness depending on the intensity, frequency and effect on a person's daily life.
Hoarding also can be a symptom of psychosis, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, senility and anorexia. "Typically, hoarders' personalities are rigid and perfectionistic," Marcelo said. "They may be socially isolated and often do not recognize that their behaviors and thoughts are unusual. They may even try to spin their maladaptive behavior into a positive situation like, ‘waste not, want not.'"
Mary Krueger, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical professional counselor in Cary, said hoarders tend to be people who are anxious and can't let go of certain mental or emotional attachments to objects.
"They hold on to everything, just in case," she said. About 25 percent of Krueger's clients are hoarders, but that number is mostly based on the high amount of anxiety cases she handles.
The general population of hoarders isn't exactly quantifiable, but the disorder is estimated to affect between 700,000 and 1.4 million Americans, according to the NeuroBehavioral Institute. "People who become like that tend to be ashamed of it," said Krueger. "They can't bring themselves to look at it as an issue." But, family members and friends take notice of hoarding tendencies in loved ones. Some people develop hoarding after a stressful life event, like divorce or a death in the family.People are more likely to hoard if they have close family members who engage in compulsive hoarding, and the disorder usually starts in early adolescence and tends to get worse with age, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Treatments can range from medications to good support systems, including therapy and an outlet for new hobbies. If untreated, hoarding can lead to unsanitary conditions and health risks, social isolation, or fire hazards. There is no known prevention for the disorder, and it's a lifelong battle.If somebody doesn't learn other ways to cope with their anxiety,it's something you can easily go back to," Krueger said.But, the hoarder has to want change."Often, they are pushed into treatment by a family member or friend. This may result in feelings of anger," Marcelo said. "[All] too often hoarding continues for years without treatment, and by the time someone seeks treatment, they may have so much work ahead of them withuncluttering and discarding that it seems daunting."
At 1-800-GOT-JUNK?, the junk removal service featured on the show "Hoarders," workers can find anything in a home, from broken furniture to rotting food – even multiple animals, alive or
dead. Chris Becker, the general manager of the Chicago North franchise that serves McHenry County, said he's only seen two hoarding cases, both in Chicago. In one, workers removed three 400-cubic-foot truckloads of waste. In the other, they removed six. "The feedback I get is, people see the show and they call us up to prevent that from happening to them," Becker said.
Where to turn If you or a loved one has symptoms of hoarding, talk with a doctor or mental health provider as soon as possible. For referrals, the McHenry County Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day at 800-892-8900.
Possible signs of hoarding
• Cluttered living spaces.
• Inability to discard items.
• Keeping stacks of newspapers, magazines, or junk mail.
• Moving items from one pile to another, without discarding anything.
• Acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless items, including trash.
• Difficulty managing daily activities, including procrastination and trouble making
decisions.
• Difficulty organizing items.
• Perfectionism.
• Excessive attachment to possessions, and discomfort letting others touch or
borrow possessions.
• Limited or no social interactions.
Please click on image above to view free power point.
SUICIDE PREVENTION
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo
What Every Parent Should Know About Adolescent Suicide
Sometimes, it takes a whole village to save a child who is suicidal or depressed. However, if we all work together, we will make a difference. Here’s what we think every parent should know about adolescent suicide.
According to the Center for Disease Control , the rate of adolescent suicide has quadrupled since 1950. Today, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in college students and the 3rd leading cause of death in teenagers following only accidents and homicides! Data indicates that more white males commit suicide than any other adolescent group. However, it is important to note that the incidence of suicide for African American adolescents and youth between the ages of 10 to 14 are increasing at alarming rates. When we look at gender differences, females make more suicide attempts; however, the ratio of completed suicides is 4 males for every 1 female. Many theorists believe that these gender differences are largely explained by the fact that males: are less likely to verbally communicate about their problems, use a more lethal means in attempting suicide, and are more socialized to violence and aggression.
The most common method of attempted suicide is overdosing on medication. However, between 60 to 70% of completed adolescent suicides involve a gun. In fact, having a gun in the house more than doubles the likelihood that an adolescent will successfully complete a suicide.
How do we know when our youth are at risk? There are several factors which increase the likelihood of a suicide attempt including, but not limited to the following: history of a previous suicide attempt (s); having a firearm in the house; suffering from a psychiatric disorder especially depression, conduct disorder, substance abuse, or a personality disorder; legal problems; difficulties in school; being the victim of physical or sexual abuse and neglect; the suicide of a friend, relative, or community member; and the end of a romantic relationship. It is important to note that the combination of these risk factors often has a synergistic effect.
Just as parents educate themselves about the various signs and symptoms of childhood physical illnesses and ailments, parents should familiarize themselves with mental health issues including some of the possible warning signs and symptoms of adolescent suicide and depression. Possible symptoms include: a period of lethargy followed by a sudden increase in energy; problems with sleeping or eating, frequent crying; feelings of hopelessness; giving away one’s possessions; neglect of appearance and responsibilities; withdrawing from typical interests and friends; decrease in concentration; behavior problems; and pre-occupation with death.
If your child shows any of the above signs, you should talk openly to and empathetically with your child about your concerns. Ask him if there is anything bothering him or anything that he needs help with. Don’t be afraid to ask your child directly if he is contemplating suicide. Despite the myth, talking about suicide does not increase the likelihood of a suicide attempt unless it is glamorized. Furthermore, if your child is suffering from the above symptoms, or your intuition tells you that something is wrong, you should seek professional advice just as you would call your child’s pediatrician if you were concerned about a physical condition. If you think that your child is in immediate danger or harming himself or others, keep your child under constant supervision while you call your local community mental health center which typically provides emergency screenings services. If necessary, you or the police can bring your child to the nearest emergency room for a mental health assessment.
Furthermore, if you ever get a call from a school professional expressing concerns about your child’s emotional health, take their comments and recommendations seriously. Do not minimize what they have to say about your child. Even if you think that your child is “only doing this for attention”, you need to realize that attempting to get attention in this way is a problem in and of itself. Finally, if your must have firearms and medications in your house, make sure that they are in a secure and locked cabinet. You also need to keep the key in a place where it is not accessible to your child. Stay involved - know what your kids are up to. The good news to all of this is that depression and suicidal thoughts are very treatable mental health conditions especially when your child is seen by a professional.
Allowances help teach kids life skills (as seen in Northwest Herald, Crystal Lake, IL - Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2013
By LAWERENCE SYNETT - lsynett@shawmedia.com
Claire and Lucas Urbanski check the refrigerator door each week for a list of chores their parents have assigned to them.
The Crystal Lake twins have to wash the dishes, feed the dog and vacuum the house, among other tasks, which balances out to about five chores apiece and a $10 allowance. Skip a chore and 50 cents is deducted, add a larger job such as cleaning out the car and earn extra cash.
Fail to complete more than one task in a week – the brother and sister lose phone privileges for 24 hours.
“The small allowance incorporates things that they are supposed to be doing with incentives and repercussions,” said Maureen Urbanski, mother of the 14-year-old Bernotas Middle School students. “They always had chores before, but it was kind of just chaotic. It wasn’t working well because we just had to repeat ourselves over and over.”
The parents are not unlike many others who pay their children allowances for doing things around the house, a practice that teaches accountability, responsibility and the value of a dollar, area experts agree. Although common, the reinforcement tool is used differently by each family, and sometimes not used at all.
The positive and negative reinforcement model used by the Urbanski family started last summer as a way for the children to earn money to pay for social activities and items they wanted instead of just giving them money anytime they asked.
Claire and Lucas Urbanski also asked their parents for a more defined way of handling chores each week as the two grew older and their schedules got busier with after-school activities and athletics.
“They had no idea what money was all about until it was their own money,” Maureen Urbanski said. “It has helped. If they want to go to a movie or buy a birthday present for their friends, they can go into their allowance.”
The pair also keep journals of what they have made and spent, and the family also sits down periodically to discuss what is working and not working.
Quite often, children and teens in today’s society have many privileges that are just given to them without any behavioral expectations to earn or retain them, said Dr. Pete Marcelo, a psychologist based in Huntley.
“I’m not a big supporter in the type of allowance that children are given money or a reward at the end of the week without any behavioral expectations like doing chores,” Marcelo said. “I wholeheartedly endorse the practice of giving your child age-appropriate responsibilities that change as they get older and having them earn privileges that most are given anyhow.”
Having an allowance isn’t just about the money for the Urbanski twins, but also has helped the two improve their work ethic and communication skills.
“I know I can’t slack for a week if I have something I have to pay for, and if I am going to do something with my friends, I can save the week before or do something extra,” Claire Urbanski said. “Whenever we asked for money or to do things, we got it. Chores gave us a limit.”
All the chores are written down every week so there is no confusion about who has to do it, and now I have my own money and know to save some, spend some and not spend it all in one place,” Lucas Urbanski said. “We will switch some chores sometimes because one of us is busier than the other so that everything gets done.”
The Van Witzenburg family takes a different approach to chores.
The Lake in the Hills family includes three sons — a third-grader, an eighth-grader and a sophomore in high school. Each child has daily chores but is not given a weekly or monthly allowance.
The chores generally consist of washing dishes, vacuuming the house and setting the dinner table, with one main task rotated among the three boys each week. They also have to keep their rooms and the bathroom clean.
“My husband and I believe that they do their chores as part of being a family,” said Kim Van Witzenburg, the boys’ mother. “In my mind, I am raising three husbands, and one day my daughter-in-law is going to appreciate that they know how to handle themselves without having to be rewarded for it.”
They can earn extra money by completing extra tasks such as cleaning out the garage or the car.
“It’s a balancing act,” Van Witzenburg said. “When they want money, we will give it to them, within reason. We’re reaching some uncharted water because we just can’t give them money all the time.”
Marriage and family therapist Dave Evans believes the use of an allowance, depending on how the parent uses it, can teach children about the real world and responsibility.
“If you weave in as much as you can about how the real world works, money is a good teacher of that,” said Evans, who has offices in Inverness and Lake in the Hills. “These lessons become more and more important.”
Being flexible with the child is also important.
“Sometimes there are times when you want to give a gift to your child and not turn it into something where they have to earn everything,” Evans said. “If you have some guidelines so the young person is learning how the world works, that is a good thing.”
And if doing the chores does not come with a monetary reward and is more about being a part of the family, it can “give the kids a sense of purpose because they are contributing to something bigger,” he said.
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By LAWERENCE SYNETT - lsynett@shawmedia.com
Claire and Lucas Urbanski check the refrigerator door each week for a list of chores their parents have assigned to them.
The Crystal Lake twins have to wash the dishes, feed the dog and vacuum the house, among other tasks, which balances out to about five chores apiece and a $10 allowance. Skip a chore and 50 cents is deducted, add a larger job such as cleaning out the car and earn extra cash.
Fail to complete more than one task in a week – the brother and sister lose phone privileges for 24 hours.
“The small allowance incorporates things that they are supposed to be doing with incentives and repercussions,” said Maureen Urbanski, mother of the 14-year-old Bernotas Middle School students. “They always had chores before, but it was kind of just chaotic. It wasn’t working well because we just had to repeat ourselves over and over.”
The parents are not unlike many others who pay their children allowances for doing things around the house, a practice that teaches accountability, responsibility and the value of a dollar, area experts agree. Although common, the reinforcement tool is used differently by each family, and sometimes not used at all.
The positive and negative reinforcement model used by the Urbanski family started last summer as a way for the children to earn money to pay for social activities and items they wanted instead of just giving them money anytime they asked.
Claire and Lucas Urbanski also asked their parents for a more defined way of handling chores each week as the two grew older and their schedules got busier with after-school activities and athletics.
“They had no idea what money was all about until it was their own money,” Maureen Urbanski said. “It has helped. If they want to go to a movie or buy a birthday present for their friends, they can go into their allowance.”
The pair also keep journals of what they have made and spent, and the family also sits down periodically to discuss what is working and not working.
Quite often, children and teens in today’s society have many privileges that are just given to them without any behavioral expectations to earn or retain them, said Dr. Pete Marcelo, a psychologist based in Huntley.
“I’m not a big supporter in the type of allowance that children are given money or a reward at the end of the week without any behavioral expectations like doing chores,” Marcelo said. “I wholeheartedly endorse the practice of giving your child age-appropriate responsibilities that change as they get older and having them earn privileges that most are given anyhow.”
Having an allowance isn’t just about the money for the Urbanski twins, but also has helped the two improve their work ethic and communication skills.
“I know I can’t slack for a week if I have something I have to pay for, and if I am going to do something with my friends, I can save the week before or do something extra,” Claire Urbanski said. “Whenever we asked for money or to do things, we got it. Chores gave us a limit.”
All the chores are written down every week so there is no confusion about who has to do it, and now I have my own money and know to save some, spend some and not spend it all in one place,” Lucas Urbanski said. “We will switch some chores sometimes because one of us is busier than the other so that everything gets done.”
The Van Witzenburg family takes a different approach to chores.
The Lake in the Hills family includes three sons — a third-grader, an eighth-grader and a sophomore in high school. Each child has daily chores but is not given a weekly or monthly allowance.
The chores generally consist of washing dishes, vacuuming the house and setting the dinner table, with one main task rotated among the three boys each week. They also have to keep their rooms and the bathroom clean.
“My husband and I believe that they do their chores as part of being a family,” said Kim Van Witzenburg, the boys’ mother. “In my mind, I am raising three husbands, and one day my daughter-in-law is going to appreciate that they know how to handle themselves without having to be rewarded for it.”
They can earn extra money by completing extra tasks such as cleaning out the garage or the car.
“It’s a balancing act,” Van Witzenburg said. “When they want money, we will give it to them, within reason. We’re reaching some uncharted water because we just can’t give them money all the time.”
Marriage and family therapist Dave Evans believes the use of an allowance, depending on how the parent uses it, can teach children about the real world and responsibility.
“If you weave in as much as you can about how the real world works, money is a good teacher of that,” said Evans, who has offices in Inverness and Lake in the Hills. “These lessons become more and more important.”
Being flexible with the child is also important.
“Sometimes there are times when you want to give a gift to your child and not turn it into something where they have to earn everything,” Evans said. “If you have some guidelines so the young person is learning how the world works, that is a good thing.”
And if doing the chores does not come with a monetary reward and is more about being a part of the family, it can “give the kids a sense of purpose because they are contributing to something bigger,” he said.
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Local parents get creative to cure cabin fever (as seen in Northwest Herald on Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2014)
By CHELSEA McDOUGALL - cmcdougall@shawmedia.com
Betsy and Jerrad Rickard have four children under 10 years old.
Let that sink in for a second. Four children. Under 10.
Betsy, a former educator who stays home with the children, knows better than anyone that the winter doldrums can make even the most well-behaved children squirrelly.
“In my house it’s like a tornado, it’s like an earthquake,” said the Crystal Lake mother of three boys and one girl. “It’s loud and there’s wrestling and just nonstop movement, and loud voices and questions. Everybody is vying for mama or daddy’s attention every single second it seems.
“That’s why I think you have to be proactive with getting them involved in doing something.”
Winter’s snow, ice, slush and subzero temperatures can be especially trying for families like the Rickards, when sometimes everyone just wants to hunker down and hibernate. But as Betsy knows, keeping your children happy and active also is key for keeping one’s own sanity.
“So thankful to have gotten outside this morning. After 68 hours of being cooped up in the house, I was seriously ready to start murdering people,” she quipped on Facebook just after the polar vortex released its icy grip.
“Everyone was feeling very cooped up,” she said later. “It was absolutely crazy.”
Keeping the kids happy and active doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune, she said. You just have to get a little creative. Most importantly, she suggests, save the TV for the time when you absolutely need that peace and quiet, or that time to focus on adult tasks.
Betsy’s playdates with other moms have been a saving grace, she said. But more often than not, she turns to the mecca of creative ideas – Pinterest. On that website, she finds a wealth of resources and ideas for activities. She’s arranged science experiments, silly games, crafts, baking, you name it.
“Anything that keeps their hands busy,” she said. “More than anything else, I want to keep the kids physically active.”
And she’s smart, psychologists say. Just like adults whose mood can change with the weather, children too can become prey for the winter blues.
“The rule of thumb is, the more engaged and active you are, typically the better your academic performance,” said Dr. Pete Marcelo, a Huntley psychologist and school administrator.
The McHenry County Convention and Visitors Bureau Executive Director Jaki Berggren rattled off a number of indoor and outdoor activities that can keep children occupied – all in the name of family harmony.
The Volo Auto Museum is one place, she said. But there are also bowling alleys, Monkey Joe’s, Mega Trampoline Fun Zone, roller skating, ice skating, the Raue Center, the Woodstock Opera House, the McHenry County Historical Society Museum, and the list goes on.
“Winter is a little bit harder out here because we are very much an outdoor county,” Berggren said. “But we do have a lot to do inside. ... You don’t have to stay hibernating in your house if you don’t want to.”
Crystal Lake family therapist Dan Blair suggests bundling up and heading outside, even if it’s for a short time.
“Being outside gets exposure to light, and it helps [children] process stress hormones, use up adrenaline, and gives them an outlet,” he said. “The idea is to keep busy. Our tendency in the winter is to go into hibernation, and we get lazier and lazier. That makes it harder to concentrate in school, and it affects our mood.”
For that, the McHenry County Conservation District has a slew of – often free – activities, such as family exploration programs or cross-country skiing.
Then there are winter festivals, such as Groundhog Days in Woodstock, the Norge Ski Jump winter tournament in Fox River Grove and the Festival of the Sugar Maples in Marengo.
“Just because it’s cold out doesn’t mean you can’t go outside,” Marcelo said.
By CHELSEA McDOUGALL - cmcdougall@shawmedia.com
Betsy and Jerrad Rickard have four children under 10 years old.
Let that sink in for a second. Four children. Under 10.
Betsy, a former educator who stays home with the children, knows better than anyone that the winter doldrums can make even the most well-behaved children squirrelly.
“In my house it’s like a tornado, it’s like an earthquake,” said the Crystal Lake mother of three boys and one girl. “It’s loud and there’s wrestling and just nonstop movement, and loud voices and questions. Everybody is vying for mama or daddy’s attention every single second it seems.
“That’s why I think you have to be proactive with getting them involved in doing something.”
Winter’s snow, ice, slush and subzero temperatures can be especially trying for families like the Rickards, when sometimes everyone just wants to hunker down and hibernate. But as Betsy knows, keeping your children happy and active also is key for keeping one’s own sanity.
“So thankful to have gotten outside this morning. After 68 hours of being cooped up in the house, I was seriously ready to start murdering people,” she quipped on Facebook just after the polar vortex released its icy grip.
“Everyone was feeling very cooped up,” she said later. “It was absolutely crazy.”
Keeping the kids happy and active doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune, she said. You just have to get a little creative. Most importantly, she suggests, save the TV for the time when you absolutely need that peace and quiet, or that time to focus on adult tasks.
Betsy’s playdates with other moms have been a saving grace, she said. But more often than not, she turns to the mecca of creative ideas – Pinterest. On that website, she finds a wealth of resources and ideas for activities. She’s arranged science experiments, silly games, crafts, baking, you name it.
“Anything that keeps their hands busy,” she said. “More than anything else, I want to keep the kids physically active.”
And she’s smart, psychologists say. Just like adults whose mood can change with the weather, children too can become prey for the winter blues.
“The rule of thumb is, the more engaged and active you are, typically the better your academic performance,” said Dr. Pete Marcelo, a Huntley psychologist and school administrator.
The McHenry County Convention and Visitors Bureau Executive Director Jaki Berggren rattled off a number of indoor and outdoor activities that can keep children occupied – all in the name of family harmony.
The Volo Auto Museum is one place, she said. But there are also bowling alleys, Monkey Joe’s, Mega Trampoline Fun Zone, roller skating, ice skating, the Raue Center, the Woodstock Opera House, the McHenry County Historical Society Museum, and the list goes on.
“Winter is a little bit harder out here because we are very much an outdoor county,” Berggren said. “But we do have a lot to do inside. ... You don’t have to stay hibernating in your house if you don’t want to.”
Crystal Lake family therapist Dan Blair suggests bundling up and heading outside, even if it’s for a short time.
“Being outside gets exposure to light, and it helps [children] process stress hormones, use up adrenaline, and gives them an outlet,” he said. “The idea is to keep busy. Our tendency in the winter is to go into hibernation, and we get lazier and lazier. That makes it harder to concentrate in school, and it affects our mood.”
For that, the McHenry County Conservation District has a slew of – often free – activities, such as family exploration programs or cross-country skiing.
Then there are winter festivals, such as Groundhog Days in Woodstock, the Norge Ski Jump winter tournament in Fox River Grove and the Festival of the Sugar Maples in Marengo.
“Just because it’s cold out doesn’t mean you can’t go outside,” Marcelo said.
PARENTING TIPS: Using Behavioral Principles To Improve Your Child’s Behavior
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo
The following Behavioral Principles based on learning theory have been used successfully by many of our clients to improve their children’s behaviors.
1. Reinforcement - a behavioral / learning theory principle used to strengthen or
increase a behavior’s intensity, frequency, and/or duration.
Some people never like using reinforcement because they think it is bribing the child; and the child should just do what is requested without a bribe.
Reinforcer - A reinforcer is often referred to as the “reward”, incentive or carrot
Examples of material/tangible reinforcers (ice cream, pizza, ball, etc.)
Examples of social reinforcers (smiles, verbal praise, high five, call parent, “good job”)
Examples of activity reinforcers (lunch with parent, watching a video, parent’s helper)
Positive Reinforcement
The Dead Man’s Rule - Do not reinforce a behavior that a dead man can do. (Example – You should reinforce following the your rules rather than not breaking the rules.) When you are eliminating inappropriate behaviors, you also want to teach and reinforce appropriate behaviors.
Negative Reinforcement
Potential Problems with a Reinforcement Procedure / Plan (not exhaustive)
Ratio strain. There are too many behaviors required per reinforcer. (Example - A child has notdone any homework yet this year. The behavior plan is that the student has to do
homework 5 days in a row in order to get a reinforcer.)
2. Punishment - A behavioral procedure based on learning theory used to decrease or reduce
an inappropriate behavior.
Types of punishment
Preventing Behavior Problems
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo
The following Behavioral Principles based on learning theory have been used successfully by many of our clients to improve their children’s behaviors.
1. Reinforcement - a behavioral / learning theory principle used to strengthen or
increase a behavior’s intensity, frequency, and/or duration.
Some people never like using reinforcement because they think it is bribing the child; and the child should just do what is requested without a bribe.
- In some cases, I respectfully disagree with these people. The use of reinforcement is necessary in some situations. And in reality, this is how society typically works. For example, would you go to work if you were not getting paid? (Perhaps not.) This is not to say that a child should not have some chores and responsibilities that are assigned to him/her just because they are part of the family.
- The long term goal of using these principles is to teach self-monitoring, self-discipline and increase appropriate behaviors. Eventually, you want to move from using tangible (or concrete) reinforcers to verbal/social reinforcers like verbal praise to internal reinforcers like teaching the child to praise himself which is a huge component of self-esteem.
Reinforcer - A reinforcer is often referred to as the “reward”, incentive or carrot
- It is the actual stimulus used in the reinforcement procedure
- It can only be defined functionally. That is, if what you are using does not strengthen a behavior in an appropriate behavior plan, then it is not a reinforcer for that child. (example – If a child does not likes pizza, then it is not a reinforcer for that child eventhough it might be for millions of other children.)
- It is often helpful to ask the child what he/she is willing to work for (within reason).
- Develop a list of potential reinforcers / a “like list” with your child. In the process you willalso be teaching your child negotiating skills.
- You always need to rotate or change reinforcers being used to prevent the reinforcer fromgetting stale. After a while, even pizza gets old.
Examples of material/tangible reinforcers (ice cream, pizza, ball, etc.)
Examples of social reinforcers (smiles, verbal praise, high five, call parent, “good job”)
Examples of activity reinforcers (lunch with parent, watching a video, parent’s helper)
Positive Reinforcement
- Positive meaning that something is presented, added, or introduced after a desired behavior in an attempt at strengthening or increasing the desired behavior in the future. (Example – You tell a child thanks for raising his hand and then you call on him. If verbal praise and participating in class is a reinforcer for that child, then the likelihood of raising his hand in the future should increase.)
- Reward appropriate behavior often.
- Avoid the squeaky wheel gets the grease problem. All too often, only inappropriate behavior gets the grease or attention. This is a huge and common mistake.
- If you are not reinforcing or rewarding more behaviors than you are punishing, you will not help your child learn to change his/her behavior.
- Do not reinforce inappropriate behavior by accident. (Example - Your child is noisy anddisruptive at lunch and you keep giving him warnings = “negative attention”. Yourchild is “grounded” to his room for hitting his sister. Your child still has access to his cell phone, computer, t.v., stereo, etc.)
- Avoid the mistake of giving the reward before the desired behavior is displayed (You canout to play after your homework is done. You can have your cake after you eat you dinner.)
The Dead Man’s Rule - Do not reinforce a behavior that a dead man can do. (Example – You should reinforce following the your rules rather than not breaking the rules.) When you are eliminating inappropriate behaviors, you also want to teach and reinforce appropriate behaviors.
- When you are teaching a child what they should not do, you also want to teach him what he should be doing.)
- Reinforce appropriate behavior that is incompatible with a problem behavior.
- (Example - Reinforce active class participation for a kid who has a problem talking to his peers during class.)
Negative Reinforcement
- Negative meaning that something aversive is removed or taken away after a desired behavior in an attempt at strengthening or increasing the desired behavior in the future. This principle is often confused with punishment.
- (Example - You escape from time-out or time-out is terminated once a desired behavior is exhibited. Or, when I used to monitor Saturday detention sessions, students were able to leave detention early if they followed the detention rules, completed their work assignments, etc.)
Potential Problems with a Reinforcement Procedure / Plan (not exhaustive)
- The target behavior is several steps away from where the child currently is. Startwhere the child is and slowly teach the child the desired behavior.
- Collect a baseline. It is analogous to wanting your child to run. If your child is not yetwalking or even crawling, you’ll never get him to run no matter how hard you try or what“rewards” you offer them. Set the high bar at a realistic level. Once your child is successful at that level, then raise the bar.
- The selected reinforcer is not a reinforcer for that child.
- The reinforcer is stale. Rotate reinforcers.
Ratio strain. There are too many behaviors required per reinforcer. (Example - A child has notdone any homework yet this year. The behavior plan is that the student has to do
homework 5 days in a row in order to get a reinforcer.)
- The child has to wait too long before given the reinforcer (A 5 year old has to wait a week for the reinforcer.)
- Peers or the environment reinforce other types of behaviors.
- The plan is not implemented consistently or with integrity. (We worked with a child who=did what he was supposed to, but the family never gave him the reward they had mutually agreed to.)
- Trying to modify too many behaviors at once. Just focus on a few behaviors at a time.
2. Punishment - A behavioral procedure based on learning theory used to decrease or reduce
an inappropriate behavior.
- Punisher - Again, a punisher is defined functionally. Just because something seems like a punishment does not mean that it is a punisher. (Example - A masochist may be willing to work for something that most people will find as a punishment. Grounding a child to his/her room is quite often not a punishment, but a positive reinforcer.)
- Use mild punishment only. I do not recommend physical or adverse punishments.
- Punish the inappropriate behavior immediately.
- Remember - behavior usually gets worse before it gets better.
- Use punishment sparingly. If your child has lost all of his privileges, then she is probably really angry. And, as the saying goes, “When you have nothing, you have nothing to loose.”
Types of punishment
- Time-out
- Verbal disapproval
- Natural consequences (Example - A child has a tantrum and accidentallybreaks his stereo. Do not pay to get it fixed. This is a natural consequence for his tantrum.)
- Logical consequence (Example - Your child is aggressive after playing a video game. The video is taken away for one week.)
- Behavior penalty (Example - Write “I will be good” 100 times.)
- Avoid ridiculing and embarrassing your child.
- Do not accidentally punish appropriate behavior. (Example - Only one of yourchildren was loud and disrespectful and all of your children get punished.)
- Punish the child when you are calm and collected and not out of anger.
Preventing Behavior Problems
- Create a positive environment in your home where your children are respected. Show them you care about them. Greet them at the door when they come home. Show interest in their activities.
- Have a reasonable number of rules. Let your children help you develop them.
- Ask yourself, is this rule really important or necessary? What am I trying to teach my child by this rule?
- Apply rules consistently.
- Let your child know what to expect for appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.
- Determine your child’s strengths and try to build her up.
- Intervene early if you think your child might have a bad day. Perhaps, provide him with a quiet environment or activity to work on.
- Redirect / re-focus your child before the problem occurs.
- Ignore some behaviors.
- Reinforce appropriate behavior. Reinforce cooperative behavior.
- Take care of yourself. Don’t get burned out. Develop a support network, etc. If you are having a bad day, your children are more likely to have a bad day.
Establishing and Reaching Your Goals with a Healthy Attitude and Work
Dr. Pete B. Marcelo
Did you know that the world record in the bench press for many years was approximately 495 pounds? Then one day, a weight lifter benched 500 pounds for the first time setting a new world record. Remarkable, well not really. Soon after this occurrence, other weight lifters broke the 500 pound bench press mark. Can any of you think of why or how this might have occurred? How can we attempt to explain this? I think that a large part of the reason why so many people broke the 500 pound bench press mark at the same time was a shift in their thoughts or attitudes about what is attainable. The 500 pound bench press mark was now humanly possible and not a mark to be feared. This is why often world record are broken in streaks.
Do you know what many famous inventors and other great achievers have in common?
The answer is “Will”. I’m sure that you’ve all heard of the expression if there is a will there’s a way. We hear it so often, we don’t really know what it means any more. And, I’m sure that you have heard of the saying that “ingenuity is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.” Same concept, different words.
Well, my theory of achievement is that success of reaching your goal = (motivation or attitude) x (effort or work) x (ability or talent) + chance. If anyone of these first three variables goes to zero then it is very unlikely that you will succeed in your goal despite your innate potential. On the other hand, hard work and persistence could take you a long way.
You can achieve your goals too if you want to. Success is a process which requires a healthy attitude and work. You don’t just wake up one morning and bench 500 pounds. It takes a lot of hard work, effort, motivation, and lifting regularly at the gym. Anyone can do it even those of us who have started off life with less natural ability.
Click on image above to view free power point.